Do as the Romans do
by Aeres
Summary: Haidee's Mass Effect obsessed friend disappears one night, and Haidee tries to find out what happened to him. She gets sucked into another realm, and tries her best to cope in a world that at the same time is new and familiar to her. Can she be any of help fighting the collectors, with her nonexistent skills? Written from oc's pov. Contains spoilers from ME1 and 2, possibly ME3.
1. Worry

**Chapter 1 - Worry**

I was worried of Josh.

I was too young to remember when we met, but I've been told that other kids in the park had ganged against me to the point I was crying, when Josh had come to me. He was furious that other kids would keep throwing sand at me even when they could see that I was getting more and more hurt. He was few years older than the rest of us, so when he told the others to drop it, they did. Back then an age gap of three years was a great deal.

Joshua had never been stable. I know his parents well, and his older and younger siblings, and none of them has any kind of mental disorders. His mother told me once that the pregnancy had been easy, and there had been no complications at birth. But something wasn't quite right in Josh's brains: he never filtered his words, was impulsive to the point of self-destructiveness, and developed many obsessions during the years. I didn't really pay attention to his queerness unless it was becoming hazardous, I figured it all was a part of the 'Josh package.'

But now, after the third Mass Effect game, I was starting to get worried.

Josh had a huge tantrum when he finished the game, something to do with it's ending I think. He had loved the first two games, and I had watched him play them sometimes. (Scanning the planets seemed so boring, I had no idea what he saw in those games.) It was only when Steam had one of it's huge summer sales that I bought the first two games to my PC and paid almost nothing of them.

Yeah. I fell in love, especially the first game. I was furious that there was a little glitch when Alenko and Shepard had one of their first chats, and I still wasn't sure if I had missed some of their dialogue because of it. But ME2 had it's own glitches: it was hard to look at the romantic scenes when the character's eyeballs came through their eyelids, and I'm sure that once I saw Illusive Man's face as a part of a wall at the collectors place.

But no matter how much I loved Mass Effect (and hated the scanning), Joshua had taken it to a whole another level.

His walls were covered in ME posters, articles and screenshots. (If he hadn't lived at his parents, I think all of the house would have been covered in them. He couldn't keep his jobs long enough to risk leaving home.) He kept playing the games through, creating Shepard after Shepard. He created one that looked a bit like me (there wasn't a hair long enough to make us look really alike), and played the games through how he imagined I would have. He said it was hard sometimes, because in reality I would never be able to command people. I had been insulted at first (even though I'm used to his honest opinions), but after I started playing myself I understood how well he knew me. Shepard had sometimes choice options which none felt right, and sometimes choices I could never decide on my own. (I still feel guilty about choosing Alenko over Williams on my first play-through. I feel like Shepard's feelings for Alenko clouded my judgement at the time.)

Ah, yes, back to Josh. He used his free time on ME forums, sent mail to the development team every so often to make them change the ending in third game, and all he really talked about with me was, guess what, Mass Effect. It annoyed him that I hadn't played the last part yet and had told him not to spoil it for me: I didn't own any gaming platforms other than my PC and ME3 wasn't available on Steam. I had spoken to this parents and promised them I'd try to get him snap out of his obsession, but my tries to take him with me to the real world had failed miserably. Two of my closest friends want nothing to do with me because of his behavior when we met.

Now I'm just trying to get him talk about other things whenever we meet. I live three hours away nowadays, and I make him feel little guilt whenever I tell him that I'm offended that he doesn't want to talk about how I am doing, since we rarely see each other face to face anymore. I don't like it when he feels uncomfortable, but it has made him come out of his bubble a little bit.

ooOoo

I had been visiting my home and Josh for a fev days, and managed to go to have a couple with him at our favorite bar. I had returned to my place earlier tonight, and had quickly fallen asleep. Travelling always exhausts me. I woke up when my phone rang, and it took me couple of tries to answer. It was so dark.

"H-hello?" I croaked to the phone.

"Haidee?" It was Josh's mom. I felt a knot in my gut. "I am really sorry to disturb you at this hour, but I really need to know if you have heard anything from Joshua?"

I struggled to have my back against the board and sit up. "I, uh- I haven't heard- what's the... "I tried to look at the clock, but my eyes could hardly see it through the darkness, much less tell me how much it was. "Is Josh ok?"

"He is not in his room." I hated to hear the fear in her voice, hard she tried to conceal it. "We woke up to a loud noise around four, and thought there was a burglar in the house. We couldn't find the source of the noise, and then we realized Josh was gone." Her voice had fallen into a whisper. "All his stuff are in their place, his shoes are where he left them earlier, and we just don't know... He's never done anything like that."

"Have you called the police?" I asked, rocking slightly in my sheets. She answered with a no: a man of 28 years, goes out at night, what would they do about it?"

"Exaggerate his condition, tell them he isn't mentally stable. If they don't start searching for him, they'll at least keep an eye out," I said to her. We shared a few more words and then we hang up.

I stared a moment at my phone, and then turned my eyes to my window, covered by curtains. I wasn't really looking anywhere. I tried not to think about the phone call. I needed to go to work tomorrow. I felt a stab of quilt when I layed myself to my bed and slowly fell asleep.

ooOoo

When my alarm woke me up I immediately called back to Joshua's mother. There was still no sign of him. I hadn't noticed anything unusual when I last saw him, and told her as much. When I got to work I told my boss about the situation. He told me he couldn't let me leave before my shift ended, but he'd try and get someone cover for me if I wanted to take some time off untill my friend was found. I thanked him and told him I'd return to my home town later that day.

After the long hours sitting on the train I was finally at Josh's house. Still no word from him. His father was already looking for him, and as I arrived, his mother left too. I was left there in case Josh would come back, or call home. (They still had a home phone, even though all of them had cell phones. I had a cute old phone at my apartment but it was not connected to phone lines.)

I paced around his room. Everything was more or less the same as always. Posters of characters I knew stared at me, as did the ones that I yet knew only by their name. I tried to get to his computer but it was protected by a password. I didn't know if I would have found anything helpful from it, and made a quick search on my phone about getting around passwords. I wasn't tech whiz and hardly understood half what the sites told me. I shut my browser a tad more frustrated.

I leaned my jaw to my palm and rocked slightly on his chair, staring at the two photographs on his table. The other one was his mother and father after they got married, holding a little baby in their arms. Another child was at their feet, Josh's older brother. I stared at the baby. I couldn't recognize Josh's features on him. The baby was ugly and crying.

I turned my gaze to the other photo, a photo of Josh and me. He would change the photo every time he got a new one, but the frames always remained the same. I stared at us, he smiling wildly after our day at amusement park. My red-tainted hair was a wild mess aroud my face. We had taken so many rides on the roller coaster I had lost count. I traced my finger around the frame. There were dents, stickers, little sketches we had added to it during the years. I wondered If he had stored the old photos somewhere.

I heard a bleep I knew well. I turned on the chair to look at the Xbox controller on the floor that was almost out of battery. I turned my head to the console, to see it was still running, but the tv wasn't on. I stood up. I guess Josh's parents had turned the tv off, but didn't know to shut the console.

I put the contoller battery to it's load deck and put a new full one to it's place. I sat down in front of the tv and turned it on. He had been playing the first Mass Effect, and I felt little disappointed. I had hoped he'd played something else. I realized the game had frozen when I tried to get to the menu screen to save and quit. I tried a couple of more times and then reseted the console (and apologized to it in my mind) the hard way.

I stared at his profile for a while after I powered the console up again. I put the game on, I wanted to see where he had left off. I wouldn't mess with his saves, I just wanted to know if he was in any emotional part of the game. Maybe that could have triggered him some way?

I tried to access his latest game file, and the console crashed. Oo-kay.

So did the following fifteen files. I was starting to worry I had somehow corrupted the game when I reseted the console earlier.

At career 22 I felt like throwing the controller out of the window.

Soon there was only the last file left, the very first playthrough he ever did. I pressed a button, and to my suprise I saw one of the first conversations to play. Joker wasn't too fond of having a Spectre on 'his' ship. Alenko told him to suck it up.

When it was about time for Shepard to have his first choice in the dialogue, the screen froze. I threw the controller at the tv screen.

Or, I would have, but I couldn't move muscle in my body.

I was frozen, just like the game in front of me. Seconds went by, and I didn't feel my heart beat, or my lungs moving. It wasn't hurting, but I was starting to freak out.

Then I started to feel a pull. At the same time, I was still sitting on that very spot on Josh's carpet, but I could feel myself moving closer to the screen. The screen seemed to move towards me as well. If I could have, I'd started hyperventilating. My thoughts were screaming in my head.

Was I having a seizure?

The pull became stronger, and the screen filled my vision. I could no longer see it properly, it was too close to concentrate my gaze to.

I felt an electric shock, and everything was white.

ooOoo

It wasn't that bad, at least I could breath again, and blood was rushing through my veins. Moving caused another shock to go through me, and I bit my teeth together. I layed still until my pulse was more or less back to normal, and my breathing even. I moved my left hand carefully. No shock. I moved my other limbs. No shocks. I opened my eyes and batted my lids harshly to get my eyes adjusted to the light.

When I'd gotten to Joshua's, it had been well past sunset. Now sun was shining bright into my eyes. Struggled to get into a sitting position. I had definitely been in Josh's room when I got electrocuted, but now I was in woods, and nothing looked familiar to me.

I sat there for a while, trying to understand what the hell had happened.

* * *

Authors notes:

English is not my first language, and I apologize any inconveniences. I also don't own Xbox, and am not sure if I used correct terms when I wrote about it. I also don't know if there's a limit to how many careers one can save on ME.

Thus said, I'd be happy to have someone as my beta. I don't have the courage to show my fics to anyone I know in real life. I'd wish for my beta to know about Mass Effect's universe, and the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. If you would like to be my beta and have any fics online, be warned, I will check.

I wanted to make a self-insert, but found myself too boring. I'm trying my best to make Haidee a good and deep oc, not another Mary Sue. (Btw, if you haven't yet read the original Mary Sue fic, I strongly recommend it. I was entertained.)

This is the only claim I'll ever make about copyrights and credits on this fic:

Admitting that I don't own the ME characters but Bioware does does not grant me any kind of immunity against the fact that I have taken somebody else's characters and universe and used them on my work of fiction, and it is ridiculous to say no harm was intended, even though it is the truth. If you can recall yourself ever writing 'I own nothing' anywhere please go and erase it. Be better than that.

That said, I have no one to credit on giving me opinions and helping me with this fic. I hope to have created unique characters and to get to know them better chapter after chapter, and a unique storyline in this world filled with stories.

This fic will contain spoilers about ME 1 and 2. I honestly haven't played ME 3 yet, so I only know so little about it. I hope Haidee gets to meet ME characters as soon as possible, but I try to keep things realistic.

And lastly, I hope you will give me your honest opinion on this fic. I have not really written fics before, much less in English. It is okay to tell me if you liked or disliked my piece of fiction, but I welcome real constructive critic the best. (Also, I'm kinda akward when it comes to replying to comments (especially ones that really don't say anything) so, uh, bear with me.)

Rated T for now, might change into M later on. If opinions on rating please let me know, I never really understood this system.

There are many more things I'd like to say, but this note is long enough, and my laptop's living on a prayer. I have enjoyed the various ME fics, and try to commit my love in return.


	2. Trust issues

**Chapter 2 - Trust issues**

The noises of the forest intimidated me. My head was feeling funny, and I tried to shake it off. I needed my head, right now.

I took out my phone. It was all messed up. It claimed it was around midnight, and it had no signal. I felt like throwing it away, but put it back into my pocket insted.

I hovered my hand above my eyes when I looked at the sun. It was noon, or early afternoon, I thought. I must have been out for - what, fifteen hours? I felt a piece in my throat as I swallowed. Forest. There wasn't any forests of this scale near my town. My home town was surrounded by fields and the sea. Even if I had some sort of amnesia because of the electric shock, I doubt I could have wandered far enough wake up within a stupid bunch of huge trees. I looked at my feet. I was wearing the same clothes I had been wearing at Josh's, meaning I had no shoes on. My socks were remotedly clean. I looked at my palms, there was little pressure marks and dirt on them from when I pushed myself up. Didn't seem like I had walked here on my hands either.

Har har, I was petrified. Someone brought me here while I was unconscious. I had thought that I somehow got the shock from the Xbox, but what if someone gave it to me on purpose (I gazed wildly around me: I was still alone) to get me? I quickly stumbled up and patted myself all over, and moved my hips in round patterns. I calmed down after checking I was wearing each and every piece of clothing that I had been wearing all day, and I felt... Well, didn't feel anything unusual at my grotch. Just how a 25-year old virgin feels when she's about to piss herself in terror.

I didn't see any marks on my wrists. Whoever brought me here was confident that I wouldn't wake up all of a sudden. And then I had been just left here. Why.

Why?

Maybe Josh had been kidnapped the same way? I could think clearly now, but my heart felt uneasy in my chest, and something was squeezing my insides. I looked at the soil around me, covered in some kind of blue tinted moss. I couldn't see any marks indicating direction I was brought here. I decided to go towards the sun, and walked slowly onwards in that cursed forest. The forest smelled funny, and I felt my insides drop every time I passed a tree or a plant or a flora. I couldn't name even one of them, hell, I could have sworn I hadn't seem them in movies or pictures either! Just then I started to question my theory of being unconscious for 15 hours.

Forget about not being in my backyard, I didn't think I was in my _country _anymore.

After five minutes I stopped to listen. Light wind shuffled the leaves, birds chirped, sometimes I heard voices of other animals. I had started to relax, the lack of my kidnapper soothing my nerves, but began wondering if I should look out for bears or other predators. I took a look at my phone, still no signal. I found a hair band from my pocket and put my hair on a bun. I hadn't seen any insects yet, but I didn't want to risk them to dangle in my hair.

I kept following the sun what seemed to be an hour and maybe a half. I was walking really carefully. Sometimes my socks would get caught to twigs and I had to stop to untangle them. One time I tried to cut through a bush, and I got a terrible rash on my arms in return. I wish I'd been wearing long sleeves when I was taken. At least I was wearing jeans instead of shorts.

Once more my sock was caught and I decided it was time for a break. I found a sunny point and sat my back against a tree. Sun warmed my face but my mood was to worse. I was hungry, but after the Painful Bush I had no courage to taste anything. I had not found running water, and I doubted any water the plants had stored on their leaves was safe to drink. For a while I just stared in front of me.

Why had I been snatched and the abandoned in the wilderness? I had seen a tv show where a guy took a girl to a cabin in the wilds, then took out his gun and told the girl to start running. The guy tried to hunt the girl down after he gave her a head start. I closed my eyes and my brows frowned. Nobody was chasing me that I knew. I wasn't a hostage, or if I was, someone was not doing their job right. Was I in some sort of sick reality tv? Guess not. I think incarceration would turn away sponsors after the first trials.

I didn't get it. I had no money, my parents didn't have much either, I worked as a shop clerk and wasn't like a model or actress or anything. I wanted to scream and shout until someone'd hear and rescue me, but I was afraid of luring in something big I couldn't handle.

ooOoo

I woke up some hours later. Sun was still up, but it had moved and didn't warm me anymore. First I thought the itch of my arms had woken me (it was getting harder not to scratch and my skin was looking awful), but then I realized I heard something moving in the forest to my right. I snapped my head at the sound, didn't completely stand up but crouched by the tree. I looked around, but couldn't see any tree I'd be able to climb up if needed. I turned my head at the sound and listened. Snaps and thuds. Slow and steady. Whatever it was, it was big, and it was coming straight towards me.

I wanted to sneak away, but it seemed it already knew where I was, and my stumbling would only confirm my location. I could already see a shape between the trees.

I hoped that it would kill me quickly and painlessly.

I closed my eyes until the stomps stopped in front of me. I took a deep breath through my nose and opened my eyes to see what seemed to be an elephant.

The familiarty quickly crumbled away as I stared at the creature in front of me. It towered above me, but was smaller than an elephant. It had no big ears or trunk. It had dark, intelligent eyes, and it swayed lightly from side to side. It walked on it's hands and feet, with only a few toes and fingers on each. Slowly it let out voices, and I could only stare.

The giant tilted it's head to the side, then repeated the voices it made before. I sat back down, still staring. I lowered my head to my hands as tears started to fall.

"I have lost my mind," I told the elcore. For that was what it looked like, an elcore. An alien from that stupid game Josh couldn't stop playing.

The elcor huffed and let out more voices. I guess it tried to speak to me.

_Great. I see aliens and I can't even undertand them_. Maybe I was just having some sort of breakdown, and there was no alien. Or maybe there was and elephant and I only thought it was an alien and was poisoned by the bush, and all the plants and trees would look normal after the poison faded away.

I jolted slightly when I felt a touch at my arm and lifted my head. The elcor gently bound it's fingers around my arm and helped me to stand up. I wiped the tears from my face and tried to smile.

"Up until this moment I was sure that I was wide awake, and didn't question the things around me. But now I think I might be dreaming, because this makes no sense, but it all feels so..." My voice faded away and I wiped some more tears away. "...Real."

The elcor spoke (I had kinda accepted that I had to live in this delusion while it lasted), and I waited it to finish before I told it "I am sorry, but I can't understand you." The elcor looked at me and carefully lifted one of its huge arms to turn my head from side to side. It studied me a moment, then turned away to the direction it came from. It stopped to look back and gestured me to follow it. Only after I took some unsure steps after it (I really should be calling him a 'he' now, shouldn't I) he turned his gaze forward and continued his way.

We walked in silence. Elcor was in no hurry, about which I was grateful. I still had to stop to untangle myself now and then, and the elcor would stop and wait for me every time. I started to hope that elcor would not suddenly fade away or disappear if I managed somehow to get my sanity back. It's great form and quiet company made myself feel calm again.

We walked on maybe forty minutes, and I took a look at my cellphone two times to see that there was no signal to be found. The elcor seemed to be curious about it, but kept walking on.

After fifty minutes the trees grew shorter and stood further apart. The light was brighter, and after couple steps the forest was behind us. There was a rocky road leading to the edge of the forest, it slithered on the ground to disappear behind the hills before us. I left out a relieved laugh, and my companion stole a glance at me.

"It looks like it was good idea to follow the sun," I said to him. He stared at me for a moment, left out a humming sound and started down the road.

We were out of the forest, but after a while I'd rather still be stumbling at the roots and twigs than have sharp stones stabbing through my socks to the soles of my feet. The elcor glanced at me with I imagined to be worry every time stumbled or cursed under my breath (I apologized every curse to him afterwards. He just seemed to be the kind of a person you apologize to when you let your mouth slip). Lucky for me, we only had a little walk down the road before he hummed and I looked ahed of us.

There was a building! Oh how happy I was. The building looked like some sort of a half sphere, very futuristic and sciency. I actually walked a tad faster, the elcor steady by my side.

The building was massive, which caused me to think it was closer than it actually was, but finally we reached the perimeter. There were some sort of vehicles about, but I payed them no thought. I wanted to get inside, wanted to get somewhere safe. The elcor slowed his pace, looking around him, and let out a noise that made me turn around.

"What?"

I followed his gaze to one vehicle. It seemed to be upside down. The other was badly damaged, small smoke escaping it's weird design.

"Not good?" I asked in a tiny voice.

The elcor reached it's arm to me, and I hobbled to him. He looked around, and then we heard the sound of a sliding door. Turning to the building, we saw armed men running to the yard. I blinked twice and still it felt like my eyes were deceiving my brain. The men had no hair whatsoever on their head, but they had extra eye pairs to make up with. Their faces were flat like those overbreeded dogs you see. My brain was looping on their open hostility.

I could have sworn they were batarians.

Elcor moved in front of me, and let out a loud noise. I peeked around him to see batarians halting (delirious or whatever, I wasn't happy to see hostile humanoids with weapons) and raising their guns at us. The elcor and one of the batarians shouted at each other, and then they opened fire.

I screamed, crouched behind the elcor. He swayed on his feet, and I knew his was taking many hits. When there was a break in the fire, I sprung forward to shelter behind a ruined vehicle. Shots were fired after me, but they bounced off from the wrecage. I turned to elcor, reached out my arm and shouted him to come for cover, but I knew he wouldn't make it. He was too slow on his moves to. I was crying.

A hail of shots rang in the air, and elcor fell to his knees. The shots didn't seem to make enough damage to kill him, but he was badly hurt. I couldn't help him. I bit my lip until I tasted blood on my tongue, and tried to look for a way for me to get away. Maybe, if I could get that boulder between me and -

I was grabbed by my neck and lifted from my shelter. A cry escaped from my throat before a hand clenched around it. I tried to kick at my captor behind me, when another batarian stepped in front of me. He gave me once over before lifting his hand and knocked me out with the back of his gun.

* * *

Author's note:

I'm trying to write these first chapters as fast as I can. I know myself, and I know that soon school and work will take my mind out of fanfiction, and if I by that time have couple of chapters in store, you readers don't have to wait too much in between. (I just wrote chapter one after I woke up this morning: I plan to write as much as I can before I go to bed this evening. Doubt I will be able to finish this chapter today.)

(Edit: finished this chapter 40 minutes after midnight. Would start the next one but need to go to work in the morning.)

I'd like to hear your opinion on the length of these two chapters. First chapter was 2200 words long without AN, and this one around 2300. Would you find longer/shorter chapters better?

And, uh, I'm worried about the rating. I believe I'm going to write more action and gore in the near future, is T enough to cover it?

I fiddled with the story today a lot today, painted a story cover etc, and was happy to find that it already has a few followers. Thank you for following, it's nice to know I'm not writing just for my own pleasure. Thank you.


	3. Like a Dali's Painting

**Chapter 3 - Like a Dali's Painting**

Me, the elcor, a handful of turians and a whole lot of salarians were kidnapped by batarian pirates.

I began to come back to consciousness by acknowledging the pain I felt in my head. It was thrumming at the left side of my skull, getting more intense as I tried to move. There were slighter pains all around my body, what the hell had happened for me to be in this condition? I finally got my eyes open, and I wasn't home. I wasn't at Josh's. I wasn't at any place I could recognize. The walls and ceiling were made of metal.

I heard a conversation I couldn't make any sense of nearby, and turned my head. If I had any expression on my face before, it wasn't there anymore. I saw a lot of salarians having a quiet discussion. I was still delirious.

I struggled to sit up (ow my feet hurt! Ow my head!) as I was starting to panic. I could see a lot more salarians now, and the turians with them. They stopped their talk as soon as they saw me awake. I wasn't sure why exactly I was scared, I remembered the gun fire, the

"Where's the elcor?" The words slipped from my lips as soon as I remembered him. I felt a piece in my throath. Did the batarians just kill him? Or just wound him bad and leave him to die? Salarians and turians stared at me in silence, before one almost chocolate brown salarian pointed behind them and said something. That earned him a slap to the back of his head from another salarian, and they started their lowered conversation again, but I paid no mind. I scrambled to my feet and limbed as fast as I could across the room while trying not to fall down.

The elcor was laying on his side, and the others had hidden him from my view. I fell to my knees as I reached him. I muttered a quiet 'hi' and put my hand on his, well, near his neck, if he was a human I would now hold my hand above his collarbone. He didn't respond. He was breathing heavily (though I had no idea how elcor normally breathed) and seemed to be out cold. I batted my eyelids rapidly and looked at his wounds. The others (I guess) had removed some of his clothing to take care of his wounds better. It looked like they had torn some of their coats to make bandages. One coat had been partially spread on him, and I was about to lift it to see if he had worse wounds underneath when one of the salarians grabbed me at my wrists and hissed words at me angrily. My answer was to jerk my hand away and shout "What?" at him.

Everyone's eyes seemed to be on me, more or less. The salarian that had grabbed my hand kept throwing rapid words at me, at times one of the others would add their share to the speech. I tried to put my word in between when one of the turians cut in. He was looking at me, but I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or the others. I tried to interrupt him couple of times but he just raised his voice over mine (every time this happened someone would hush and he would level his voice again). This went on until I just blurted "I don't understand a word any of you are saying!"

There were couple of voices that seemed to mean something like "ooh, I see," and everyone was quiet for a moment. I felt awful. I couldn't really read their faces, turian neither salarian, but I could sense the hostility from them. I didn't understand. I hadn't done anything to them! I was lost and hurt, the elcor was hurt a lot worse, and these scientists (I got a feeling they were scientists, you know, lots of white coats, lots of salarians...) and turians (I had no idea what their profession were) kept buggering about I-don't-know-what!

They were talking silently to each other again, I turned to the elcor and stroked his huge arm. I was biting my teeth to keep from crying.

The chatter subsided, and there was a pat on my shoulder. I turned my head to see a cream colored salarian standing behind me, motioning something with his hands, and when I didn't react to that he gently pulled me to my feet. I grimaced when my weight rested on the soles of my feet again. Everyone else was standing too, the turians and two of the salarians had moved to the door. The cream colored salarian walked me to the center of the room, gave me a small smile and said something that didn't sound like anything that I had heard from their mouths yet.

"So-ryy."

"W-what?" I stuttered, but he was already walking away from me. I felt a weight on my shoulder and turned around to see one of the turians, dark gray with beautiful tribal paintings on his face, standing in front of me, his talons on my shoulder. He said to me:

"Zoh-ryy."

I opened and closed my mouth a couple of times like a fish on dry land. "What?"

The turian coughed couple of times to his fist, and everyone seemed to... brace themselves, for something?

The turian started shouting at me.

I stood there, dumbstruck. He was exclaiming with his hands, yelling from the top of his lungs. I took a step back, only to have him grip at my arms and shake me.

I was getting really scared, really fast.

I heard a beep from the door, and the turian stopped shouting, but did not let go of me. He stared intently at the door behind me when I heard it slide open.

The following happened really fast. I heard a batarian shout, first angry, then alarmed. The turian tightened his grip of me for a second before he threw me aside, dashing for the door. There was shouting, sounds of struggle, and shots fired. I hit the floor, screaming from the shock, pain, fear, you name it. Everyone else was shouting too. I rolled to my side to see what was happening. The batarian who had entered the room was lying on the floor, a bloody gash in his head. There were marks on the ceiling where the shots from his gun had hit. The gun was nowhere in sight, neither were the turians and the few salarians that were standing near the door. Some of the salarians ran to the batarian and started to tie him up with their lab coats, and one ran to the door, closing and locking it (I think he locked it, the green light of the hologram turned red). The cream colored salarian came to me and pulled me up, dusting my clothes at the process. I took couple of steps and then just sat down. It just hurt too much. The shouting had stopped. Nobody was running anymore. My sore head was throbbing to the beat of my heart, which was uncomfortably fast.

I could see bloody prints around the room where ever I had walked. I peeled off what was left of my socks as carefully as I could, but I grunted and hissed in pain every time when I tried to remove a part that was pressed into my wounds. The salarian that I had baptized Creamy hollered over another salarian, who took of his coat and started to rip it to sheds. Creamy took one of the shreds and kept it in front of my face until I spit at it. He nodded in approval and shooed my hands away from my feet. I could tell he was trying to be gentle when he tried to get the dirt away the best the could, but, _man_, it hurt! I fought back the instinct to kick him.

He made me spit at the now dirty and bloody rag few times while he cleaned my feet before he took the clean shreds Brick (he was colored brick red, and I kind of felt bad at calling him a brick in my head, but it was the first thing that came to my mind) gave him earlier, and wrapped me up. I tried to smile at them, but it didn't come through. So I just said: "Thank you."

ooOoo

Maybe half an hour later the door binged and slid open. I twitched restlessly by the elcor before the salarians started grinning and went to the turians and their salarian friends who entered the room. They had bruises and wounds on them, and all of them were carrying weapons they didn't have before.

I had come to a conclusion that we were all kidnapped from the same place, judging by the fact that everyone seemed to work seamlessly together, me being the exception. Kidnapping and batarians equals pirates in my mind, and I didn't think that I was too far from the truth if I claimed that the returning team had wiped out the batarians and taken control of the ship. I relaxed a bit and turned my eyes back to the elcor, not really looking, and not really relaxing completely. I still remembered the hostility they treated me with earlier. I didn't think the shouting incident had nothing to do with it: the turian had shouted to make the batarian come to check the situation. Though I'm not sure I was actually needed as a target...

I wasn't holding my breath that they'd like me more now that they were free.

"How is he holding up?"

"Oh!" I exclaimed and turned to see one of the turians standing behind me. It was becoming a habit. The turian was messing with an omnitool, I guess one of it's programs did the translating for them. Looks like they took more than just guns from the pirates.

"I see! He is, uh..." I turned to the elcor and my shoulders slumped. "I don't know how he is. He still hasn't woken up."

The turian knelt and took a look at the elcor, checked his wounds and listened to his breathing. "Yeeah, they got Altun pretty bad. I think they overdid it, really. But hey, elcor are tough. We'll get a real doctor have a look at him and he's good as new."

"You think?" I asked, not really waiting for a reply. The turian's omnitool seemed to translate every conversation near it, as I caught bits and pieces from here and there. "..I think we are near Iera..." "...It's not like any of us can steer this ship..."

Curious eyes were gathering around us now that I could understand what they were saying to me and could properly hold a conversation. The other turians joined us, as well, but they were looking grim, and hovered above me.

"What were you doing at the facility? Who are you?"

Oh.

I still preferred to think that this was just a lunatic circus inside my head triggered by stress and Josh's disappearance, but my actions had consequences here, so I didn't feel like volunteering to be a knife thrower's assistant. At that moment I decided to play by the book as much as I could, and hoped that sooner or later I'd snap back to my reality. I wouldn't lie if I didn't need to, I knew I'd forget stuff I'd make up anyway.

I frowned and stared somewhere behind turian's knees, trying to figure out where to start.

"My friend, Joshua, he still lived at his parents, he... They heard a noise and woke up, and Josh was gone." Ugh, I wasn't good at summaries. The people in the room looked at each other, tried to figure out how this had anything to do with me finding their labs. "Before you ask, he isn't the kind of person who disappears, he's... unique," I didn't want to describe Josh to them. I knew others thought he was disturbed or something, but for me he was... not. "They called me, and as fast as I could, I went there. His parents went looking for him, and I was in his room..." I frowned even more. I didn't know what to say. "I don't know what happened. _Something_ happened. I was there, and then, I woke up here, in the forest, and then Altun found me..." I glanced at the unconscious elcor. "I wasn't even wearing my shoes," I said silently. I started to rub my aching temple, only to flinch at the pain.

"That still doesn't explain how you ended up by the facility," one of the salarians said. I didn't turn to look which one. "Our scanners hadn't picked up any kind of transportation activity at the area before they spotted you only a few klicks away."

That got my attention. "What, I just dropped to your scope out of nowhere?" They didn't answer, which I interpreted as an affirmative. They didn't seem to be too happy about it.

Weird plants. I hadn't seen any humans since I woke up in the forest.

"I'm not on Earth anymore, am I," I asked them. They shook their heads.

"Technically, we are just floating in the space now, waiting for someone to come and tow us back to civilization," Brick answered. "But, no, the facility wasn't on Earth, it-"

"She doesn't need to know anything more about that, when the authorities arrive the less she tells them the better," the turian with the beautiful makings cut in.

"Oh stuff it Jodren, you really think she's a spy or something?" The turian that still fiddled something with his omnitool barked.

"Uh, who's steering the ship?" I broke in. I didn't want them to start fighting, if they'd get angry they might unleash it on me.

"No one," Creamy stated. "The distress signal is transmitting, right now we just have to wait and see what happens."

"How long is it going to take? For someone to come for us?"

"Who knows?" Jorden shrugged. Nobody seemed to be bothered by the idea of long wait.

ooOoo

Maybe six hours later, I was somewhat quarantined. About half of the colonists had left the room to go to the other parts of the ship. I would have been happy to go and check the ship, maybe have a look at the space if I'd found a window, but I wasn't allowed to leave the room, I was 'too suspicious.' Thus I just sat by Altun and kept an eye on him and those remaining in the room. Most of the salarians had recovered their omnitools batarians had taken, and were in deep conversation about something that went way over my head.

The ship shook a little, and soon Jorden came in, looking angry.

"It's the Alliance. It's been a pleasure working with you gentlemen."

There was some muttering in the room. I guess their facility, or something they were doing back there, would get them now arrested. There were some deep sighs, some frowning faces. "Where are they taking us?"

"They are escorting supplies, and will tow us to Horizon with them. ("See? I told you we were around Iera!" somebody said happily.) From there, I don't know." Jorden shook his head.

Hey.

Horizon? I know that place.

Thoughts were flashing in my head. This was the Milky Way. All this stuff from the Mass Effect games.

When was this? Before Collectors? After Collectors?

Did the characters from the game exist? Was Shepard a real person? The others?

Fuck, would we all be torn apart by _Reapers_?

My life seemed to get a lot shorter by the hour. In what mess I had exactly gotten myself into?

* * *

Author's note:

I used Salvador Dali's name on the title, because he is probably the most known surrealist there is. I've been told that he was quite of an asshole though, my art history teacher would have skipped him but he's too important.

I've been reading some long fics and barely written anything myself. I haven't even turned my computer on for a fev days! (I read using my phone: reading from larger screens just... I can not concentrate and thus understand what I'm reading.)

I got quite a scare when my leg acted up. Painfully. I have no idea what caused it, but the pain went away after taking things easy (read: after laying a day in bed reading fanfiction) for a couple of days. I hope it won't happen again.

Thank you, who left reviews on my story, for positive feedback. It's something I'm not used to, and I was quite afraid to read them. Thank you, everyone, who favourited and followed this story: I try to update once a week for now. After my everyday life gets to balance again I'll let you know if I can keep this up.

And as a side note, I'd like to remind you all that this is no pure self-insert. Think of it this way: picture a triangle in your mind. Now, one corner is self insert, and one corner is oc (the ultimate oc with no self insert on them, only coincidences of character). The third corner is Mary Sue. I try to make my way from self insert corner to oc corner without going to Mary Sue corner. I'm only saying this because a... What are those? A community or something of ME self inserts added my story to their list, and I feel like I've terribly misled them somehow. So, summing this up, uh... I'm just babbling. Not pure SI. Try not Mary Sue. I hope I don't leave you confused.

Oh, by the way, if you haven't seen ME: Paragon Lost, you have missed nothing. Animation was awful, krogans didn't look like krogans, women were all boobs and short tops and characters were quite one-sided. Do not recommend.


	4. Questions And Answers I

**Chapter 4 - Questions and answers**

The Alliance people were surprised to see a barefoot human girl clad in 21st century clothing among the aliens, when they politely walked us to their ship, pointing the way with their assault rifles. They didn't exactly give us a tour, but I don't think that their ship in question was any big: we were all led into a same room, which seemed like some sort of a cargo hold. Three guards were left to keep an eye on us. The turians, now stripped from their weapons, measured the guards with their eyes, but to my relief decided not to take over two ships a day.

I hadn't been happy that I had had to leave Altun behind to the marines scratching their head (they were trying to figure out how to move a wounded elcor around without hurting it any worse). He had been kind with me, I think. As slow and careful elcor are, I find it hard to believe that there could be any evil ones around. Anyways, sitting by him had been giving me some kind of comfort, and now I was feeling very, very lonely.

I closed my eyes, count to ten, opened them, and was still in that cargo hold. I repeated that some times, only to open my eyes to see some crates and aliens, to hear the hum of the life system. I silently pounded the back of my head to the wall I was sitting against, before deciding that pounding it hard against it wouldn't wake me from this place. I had already had a good hit to my head during my time here.

During the flight (can I call it flying?) to Horizon I had time to think my about my situation. I remembered reading about people being tortured: to escape the pain they would go to this imaginary world, where they lived their lives the way they always did, but later would find a note telling that they must wake up. I didn't think that was my case. Yeah, someone ill in their head could have captured me to have some kind of sick pleasure torturing me, but _this_ wasn't anything like my every day life.

I began to wonder... That maybe Josh was here somewhere, with me. He _had_ been playing his game before disappearing, and so had I... I rubbed my face. Ugh, was I in some kind of scifi novel? Josh had been missing for almost 16 hours... So, if whatever happened to me happened to him as well, that meant that time kept going on back in our world.

That didn't make me feel better at all.

I stared in front of me, seeing nothing. How the hell was I going to find him? The moment I'd step my foot on Horizon I'd be thrown to jail. Maybe Josh had been already thrown to jail somewhere else.

Maybe he had not landed on a garden planet, but found himself in the middle of the darkness between the stars, and got spaced... No! No!

Yeah, I was getting more anxious by the minute. I couldn't shake the feeling that it was Josh who had gotten us here somehow. He _was_ obsessed about Mass Effect but could it really be that he had found a way to get himself in it...

That's just impossible. He was just a guy who after graduation had not been able to find a job he liked. I was quite sure that he was no rocket scientist or anything.

I cursed him to deepest pits of hell for making me worry myself sick.

ooOoo

The marines walked us out of the ship just the way they had walked us in: they simply announced that we had arrived to our destination and pointed us to the right direction with their guns. I didn't really pay attention to my surroundings before wind hurled my hair around my face, causing me to shake my head and take a look around me.

I must have halted my walking because the salarian behind me nudged my back to make me move again. I flinched when I walked on, and stared at my surroundings.

We were at a port, I'd say. There were two ships in my sight besides the one we arrived on, shining in the sun, their massive forms towering above us. I'd seen some ships and shuttles in games and movies, but now that I was walking by them...

They were huge!

A lot of people were walking around. Some were guarding us, some were busy unloading cargo from the ships, but still managed to glare at us every now and then. It made me nervous, and I did my best to avoid eye contact for the rest of the way. Instead, I studied what I have named 'container village' in my head.

I couldn't see a single building that looked like it belonged where it stood. I guess these habitable containers were handy when colonizing places, but they lacked... personality, individuality. I'd get lost here easily without guidance.

Before I had been surrounded by steel, but now... It took me some time to realize I was waiting for some kind of glitch, some pixels to give away that I was in a game. But everything was HD, no, beyond that. Everything had a scent that floated in the air, and everything had a feel when touched. All these people looked different, not repeating same clothes, hair styles and faces.

I wasn't in the game, but this place was certainly based on the game.

Or was the game based on this place?

A door slid shut behind be, and I was left alone into a little cell. It was small: maybe one and a half meters wide, and two meters deep. I wondered if they had enough cells for all the aliens they just brought in.

After standing still for some minutes, I finally ignored the small bunk and sat on the floor in the corner opposing the door. I don't find pulling my knees to my chest a very comfortable position, but I did so anyway. I could not hear a thing happening outside my cell, and that silence started to get on my nerves. I started to hum to calm myself down.

ooOoo

I don't know how much time had passed before the door to my cell slid open. I was feeling like crap. I ached all over, I was hungry and tired, but I was too afraid to take a nap. I felt like a little creature had moved into my head and decided that it had to be renovated, and was banging a hammer against my skull. I still cradled my knees against my chest, and had lowered my head to rest against my knees. I fluttered my eyes open before raising my head to see an Alliance person standing just outside of my cell.

"It's your turn, get up," the man said, suggesting that I should follow him with a nod of his head at the hallway. I stared at him for good long seconds. My turn for what? To be executed? To be thrown into a bottomless pit? I decided I didn't care. I had no idea where the currents were taking me, but I was too battered up to fight against them, physically and mentally. I managed to scramble to my feet, and stepped into the corridor. There was a guard standing at either side of my cell. They followed behind me as I followed the Alliance guy to a bigger room near the corridor's end. There was only one door leading to the room, the one we stepped in through. A table made of steel (or something like it, I couldn't be sure) was placed in the middle of the room. There were two steel chairs by the table, on bolted to the floor, and one on the other side of the table. That's the chair the leading man sat into, and he gestured me to sit on the other. I turned my head when the door closed with a hiss to see that the guards did not enter the room, but had taken positions outside it.

"Please, have a seat," the man said while fiddling with a datapad in his hands.

I slowly walked to the chair and sat down. I was quite sure I was about to be interrogated, and I didn't know how to feel about it. The man had lowered his datapad on the table and was now doing something with his omnitool.

"What is your name?"

"Haidee Ek." My voice was coarse, and I cleared my throat a little. The man typed something on his omnitool before he rested his arms on the table and turned his full attention to me.

"Haidee. Do you know why you are here?"

I started to shook my head, half nodded, and shook my head again. "No. Kind of... It's... not making any... nothing's really making sense to me right now," I replied silently. The man leaned back in his chair, studying me. His face was almost void of emotion: the little I could read from him was curiosity.

"You are here, because when our troops followed a distress signal to it's source, they found an unregistered pirate ship full of scientists and other personnel from an illegal facility that (he glanced at his datapad) was reportedly destroyed by yet unverified reason twenty hours ago." His eyes studied my face. "You don't strike me as a scientist or a security guard."

There was a question behind his words which I decided to be left unanswered. During our brief silence he stole a look at his 'tool before reforming his question.

"The science team has told us you are not part of their crew, yet you were brought to the ship with them. What were you doing at the facility?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but closed it when I didn't know where to start. I stared at the omnitool on the man's toned wrist, trying to figure out what to say.

"I was at my friend's place. He... His parents had contacted me, he had disappeared. I was in his room, when..." I fell silent, shook my head slowly and lifted my eyes to the ceiling. "I woke up in a forest, not knowing how I'd gotten there, or where I was. I was trying to find... something, someone, when... Altun found me." I looked at the man again. He seemed to have slightly more interest on his face, but I could have imagined it. "I followed him, and then we saw some cars (the man raised one of his eyebrows) destroyed, and then I got this." I pointed at the side of my head where I had been struck. I didn't know if I had a bruise or anything, but I sure felt it enough that it should be visible to others. My hand dropped into my lap and I was silent for a moment. "I'm quite positive that I have lost my mind," I told him sadly.

My last statement seemed to surprise the man. He straightened his back and shifted slightly in his chair. "How so?"

I did not respond to that, but looked at his omnitool. "Have you found anything on me yet?"

He glanced at his 'tool again, but did not respond.

"I was born in 1988."

_That _made his eyebrows fly to his hairline. He stared at me, and I returned his doubting gaze with my own, sad eyes. "I wouldn't believe me either."

The man was about to say something when his omnitool pinged and cut him short. He took a look at it, looked at me, and read again whatever message he had gotten. He finally got hold of his emotions and stared at me blankly, making me shift in my chair. Finally he just stood up and left the room without saying a word.

After the door slid shut I slumped down in my chair, musing over the conversation. What was he going to do with me now? Send in a psychiatrist to see me? Huh. I had told him the truth, I don't see how anything good would have come from lying.

A hiss pulled me back from my thoughts, and the man returned to his seat. He was gone a minute, and he was already back? He leaned his left elbow to the table, his chin resting on the palm of his hand, his fingers covering most of his mouth. He didn't speak, just stared at me, the fingers of his right hand tapping at the table every now and then. He was making me feel extremely uncomfortable, and I lowered my eyes to my lap to avoid his stare.

When the door opened ten minutes later I was happy the man got a reason to look somewhere else. Before anyone entered the room my interrogator stood and walked out to the whoever was waiting outside. Only after the door was securing me from the man who now creeped the shit out of me I raised my head and left out the air from my lungs. I actually jolted a little when the door opened again, but to my relief neither of the two men who entered were the man from before. My relief was short: I was bothered by a feeling that I knew one of the men, but I just couldn't quite figure out how...

Only after he spoke I was able to make a connection. "How are your injuries?"

Snap, my brain cells made new connections at his husky voice. Snap, small scar on his lip and one below it, snap, raven black hair combed back and sideburns, snap, an Alliance officer on Horizon.

I covered my face with my hands and I started to cry.

* * *

Author's note:

I got to spend a weekend with my friends. It was good to see them again. School starts again, and I'm having doubts at what to do with my life. Have I taken a wrong path after so many right ones? I might need to back-trace my steps, but I'm not stressing over it. Bring it on, come what may!

I just saw a shooting star. My wish has never come true this far and I doubt it will this time either... But I keep wishing. Every time I see one.

I'm starting another fan fic, which I plan to be a one-shot. I won't let it in the way of updating this one, but it is something I need to get out of my system.

I'm too poor to eat at school at the moment, and it's been an experience bringing my own lunch. Well, just one more week, and I'll have little money again. I've proved myself that I can survive with less. Luckily I've been able to afford milk to my coffee, it's not like I couldn't survive without milk, but that's how I take my coffee, and I get withdrawal symptoms if I don't drink it every morning.

I hate these stupid banana flies. *swats at them*

In case you might find my A/Ns confusing, let me tell you this: I usually start it before I start the actual chapter, update it during the chapter, and finish it after I've finished the chapter. That way I won't forget anything important.

I haven't been able to write as much as I'd like. I wake up, go to school, go to work, come home, go to bed. I'll be having less work shifts in the future, and I'll be traveling home next weekend, which should give me time to write: not much else to do on a train.

I had much trouble trying to find English names and idioms and words for things in this chapter. Everything seemed to be out of my expertise.

I realized having a deficiency in my last chapters. Now that I've taken a thought about the matter, the writing process should be easier for me, and hopefully it will improve my writing's quality. (Not that I'd been getting complaints, no, only words of encouragement. Thank you all.)


	5. Questions And Answers II

**Chapter 5 - Questions And Answers**

I pinned my hands against my mouth, trying to keep the sobs from coming. I batted my eyelids to get rid of the tears that just kept rolling down my face and neck. The two men stood still not sure what to do with a broken down girl in front of them. Slowly the one who had all sorts of pouches on his clothes stepped forward and knelt in front of me. This gesture surprised me, and thought I was nowhere near calm I dared to lower my hands after wiping some of the tears away.

"Hi, I am dr. Reed, and I'd like to have a look at your feet. Would you allow me to do that?"

I did not trust myself to speak, and only nodded in response. Dr. Reed nodded once in return, dug up a pair of small scissors from one of his pouches and started to cut open the cloth strips used to bandage my feet. I watched him work and all the while the tremors that shook me earlier faded to small shiverings whenever I breathed in. After removing the dirty strips doctor brought up his omnitool to scan my feet. I turned my attention to the Canadian leaning sightly to the table, arms crossed at his chest, his eyes following my movements.

Kaidan Fucking Alenko. In flesh.

I had not expected this. Well, I guess I should have, but still, I - you know, just your everyday girl living her life, happens to get sucked in a stupid game and to actually _meet_ one of the heroes? Well I guess it would have been dull if I haven't but I hope they don't expect _me_ to save this fucking galaxy. To be safe I covered my mouth with my hand: I was afraid I'd laugh out loud.

I jolted when something cold and jelly touched my feet (it took a lot of will power not to kick at the doctor) and I lowered my eyes to see the doctor applying what I believed to be medigel to my wounds. He chuckled a little at my jumpiness.

"I'm sorry, I guess it was a little cold."

I didn't reply, instead I watched him work. When dr. Reed finally let my feet to touch the floor again, he had wrapped some new bandages around them to prevent medigel going all over the place, and the pain from my feet was gone. I wiggled my toes. I somehow still felt some of the cuts, but I bet I could have just stood and walked out of the room without staggering.

Doctor then stood and inspected the side of my head.

"Do you have a head ache?"

I shook the body part in question. "Only the part that was hit hurts. Throbs, or something."

"Feeling nauseous?" I think he was trying to rule out concussion.

"Yeah, but I don't think it's because of my head." Doctor had taken out his omnitool again and held it near my face, scanning my head.

"No swelling or internal bleeding, skull's intact..." He gave me one last quick full body scan. "Some more minor bruises which will heal on their own, I'll just add a dip of 'gel to your face and you'll be good as new," he gave me a warm smile. I tried to smile back, not quite making it. I flinched when he carefully rubbed some medigel at the side of my face, and almost immediately the throbbing inside my head faded away. I touched at the spot, getting some medigel to my fingertips, and brought my hand to my face to inspect it. It was clear and thick, sliding between my fingers. It had some sort of faint smell, but I couldn't figure out smelling ever anything similar.

"I'll send you my report."

"Thanks, doc." I lifted my head to see doctor leaving the room.

"Thank you," I called after him, but the door already slid shut. Aw shucks.

Thus it was just Kaidan with me in the room.

Umm.

Should I just tell him he's a fictional character?

"So," he started while sitting down to the interrogator's chair. (Yeah, let's just let him decide the topic.)

"I know you are probably confused and tired because of all this, but I really need you to answer some more questions for me. Can you do that?" He asked kindly, leaning his arms on the table.

I rubbed my eye for a moment. "Yeah, just... I think I'm downright crazy, but fire away." Maybe I _was_ talking to real persons, and I only _saw_ things wrong?

"What makes you think you are crazy?" He asked, slightly tilting his head. Damn, his voice... It was just like in the games, husky and warm and made you tingle, but without the acting. Every sound he made was so damn honest and real I just... ugh.

"Because, I was - I don't know, 24 hours ago I was on Earth, and now I'm not, and back then we had cell phones instead of o-"

I can't say that!

"- of, of those... bracer things, and no space ships to speak of, and humans were the only sapient species known of!" I gushed. "I'd thought the other guy would have filled you in on that." I leaned my elbows to the table, and rested my head on my hands, staring at him. "I don't know why you haven't already thrown me somewhere where I can't harm anyone."

Kaidan pulled the datapad that the Interrogator had had over to him and typed a moment on his 'tool before letting me see the pad. "Well, that's one of the reasons he called me in. We actually found something on you." I carefully took the pad from his hands. I was afraid of breaking it, I didn't know what it was made of.

The datapad was displaying a photo of me. I remembered seeing it, it had been taken maybe two months ago by my friend when we were getting ready to hit the town. I think she posted it on her Facebook among other pictures from that night. I was sitting on her bed, doing something with my phone, wearing a flattering top and a tight skirt. I was wearing some make up, but I was very recognizable, and my hair was the way I usually wear it: hanging open because I didn't know what else to do with it.

I tried to scroll down to see the small text underneath the picture, but the pad scrolled up instead, revealing the name of the local magazine of my home town and the headline: TWO FRIENDS STILL MISSING.

The article was dated 16th September 2013. I stared at the date. That's over two weeks from now... though I guess my now was long gone. I managed to scroll the page down, reading the article. A photo of Josh followed. Nothing had been heard from Joshua and me, none of Josh's belongings were missing, the last persons to see us had been on both times his parents... Nobody had seen us since, no clues had been found, we hadn't contacted anyone...

I had been holding my breath, and I inhaled deep. Blood was thrumming in my ears. I scrolled to the end of the article, and tried to find another one, but I had no idea how to manage that thing. I handed the pad back to Kaidan. It was getting harder to breath normally.

"Is there more, there has to... Are there more articles?" Kaidan reached out and took the pad from my hand. It was shaking slightly, and I formed a fist in an attempt to make it stop.

"There are your personal files, the official police records and some more articles," he told me, watching me keenly. "Nothing more is found than already stated in this article." He paused when I started pacing around the room. I didn't remember standing up. "After five years, you were declared dead _in absentia_."

"No, no nonono, that doesn't mean that - I'm _alive_," I told him, pointing at my chest, which moved with my short breaths. "I mean, y- do you mean, that I won't get back?" My voice hitched up a notch. "No, it's not that, I'm just delirious, you'll see when - how can you just _say_ that," I accused, turning to him. He had stood up and taken a careful step towards me. "You can't just expect me to... I need to go to work! Oh shit, Josh..." Forget about me, he was never found either. "No, he can't, it's just a, just a fucking acid trip or something, I just have to wake up..." I was crying, and I felt like I was about to throw up.

"I'm sorry, I-" Kaidan placed his hands on my arms and guided me back to my chair. I was glad to sit down. I had to focus on my breathing too much to pay attention to my feet. "We compared your DNA to the samples of the case, and, it's an exact match." His eyes studied my face. "I didn't mean to make you feel bad, but we need to find out how you stayed out of records for over 200 years."

"I'm twenty-five!" I snapped at him. "If I had been wandering about 200 years wouldn't you think I'd_ look _older?" As the words left my mouth I lifted my hand to my face, trailing my fingers around my eyes. I hadn't seen my reflection since this madness, so... "I'm not old, am I?" I asked with a hint of horror in my voice.

"Uh, no, I wouldn't say that... Sorry, that sounded like you were, but you don't really look old, maybe, in your twenties..." His voice faded out and I calmed down a little. He lifted his hand and scratched his neck. "But people don't just appear out of the blue after being missing a couple of centuries..."

Kaidan stopped whatever he was saying when we heard muted gunfire from outside. I turned to the sound, and felt blood escape my face. We both jumped from our chairs. Kaidan was almost at the door when I reached him and grabbed his arm, startling him. I was trying to remember the colony's name so bad...

"Has the Liberty..." No, that's not it. "Has Freedom's Progress been attacked yet?" I clung to his arm, refusing to let him to the door. Alarm was written all over his face. "Have the colonists of Freedom's Progress disappeared?" I persisted.

"How did you know about that?" he retorted, a suspecting tone now in his voice.

Fucking hell.

We're so dead.

"Do you know something about this? How?" Where I had been clenching his arm he was now clenching mine. His other hand reached out to lift my chin up, trying to get eye contact, but I couldn't meet his gaze. A girl from the past, knowing the future. Why did everything have to be so hard?!

During my weird time in this game world I had been afraid. A lot. But now a new kind of fear itched it's way into my bones. You know, the kind of where you're afraid that aliens paralyze you, kidnap you and turn you into human juice to make a Reaper.

You may think that hey, you're with Kaidan, and he survived the attack. It's canon: Kaidan survives, so stay near him and everything will be okay. But now that I was here, he was in the cell blocks (or whatever) of Horizon, not walking with a cute girl near the defense towers. So there was this chance that we were where the collectors begin their attack, and we'd be two of those 200 000 people collectors take with them.

You see my point?

Hey... Maybe if I died here, I'd be able to wake up in the real world?

...

Maybe I'd try that another day.

Kaidan must have decided that he didn't have enough time to make me talk, not with something going on in his colony. He let go of me and opened the door, then pointed a finger at me.

"Stay here, don't wander of."

And with that, he disappeared from my sight before I could even warn him what he was up against.

"Oh to hell with-"

He hadn't locked the door behind him. I guess he thought that like any normal person, I'd stay inside while professional went and dealt with the threat. Oh, didn't I want to! But I knew that they wouldn't stand a chance against the collectors and their swarms. I also knew that the swarms couldn't get through biotic barriers, and if I could get that information out, at least a few more people could be saved... Right?

I ran past cell doors, through a room with tables and chairs, and suddenly fresh air hit my face. I looked around. My heart dropped at the sight of some people already frozen in place. I heard gun fire in the distance and launched myself towards the sound. I saw some collector bugs and ran even faster. Where the hell did he go already?

I ran around the corner, and almost ran into a woman who was running to the opposite direction. She wasn't the only one, a lot more colonists were running to the way I came from. I could see Kaidan and the guards who took me to the interrogation room shooting at the wasps, but falling back all the while. I ran against the current, my lungs burning from the strain. A man next to me froze in place and another ran into him, falling yelling to the ground. Medigel was squishing between my toes.

"Kaidan!" He snapped his head to my direction before focusing back to the battle. One of the guards yelled and swatted his hand where a little machine had stung him.

"Biotics! They can't get through biotic fields!" I was hit by a passing elbow and gasped for air. Another guard froze covered in stasis field. Seconds later blue glow started emitting from Kaidan's hands and I slowed my pace in relief.

I felt a sting on my neck and saw Kaidan swat his hand against one that had just landed on his. The blue glow disappeared when he took a better grip of his assault rifle, but he never fired it. After two more strides my legs no longer responded and I fell down, barely able to stretch out my arms to take the hit.

I was facing the ground. I tried to turn my head to see, but I could only roll my eyes. My heart was beating adrenaline through my body, and I was hardly able to breath. A seeker landed on my cheek, and I could feel several other crawling over my body.

If I could have I would have screamed.

* * *

I've been watching a lot of 3D tutorials and practicing my skills. I'll be taking a course about games, and, if I'm lucky, a game art course.

I ordered myself an Xbox 360, and all ME games. Maybe after a month or so, I'll be able to play ME3! I'm a little scared, because a lot of people were disappointed by it.

Well, about my story, yes. We have passed a certain point, and canon characters have started appearing. ...That's about what I have to say about it at the moment.

I have never been this shocked at technology, I pressed a button on my writing program and IT STARTED READING MY TEXT ALOUD TO ME. After recovering from my fright, fuck me sideways, I've been having so much fun just fooling around!

Yeah, um, if there is anyone who would find themselves one day with a craving to be my beta, just ask me. (I'm not sure what betas exactly do, but I'd love to let someone read my texts before publishing them online.)

Got my Xbox today, well, yesterday, actually. It binged to life but my tv screen remained black, and no sound came. I think my old tv might be too old for Xbox to work... Is that possible?


	6. Questions And Answers III

**Chapter 6 - Questions and Answers III**

A/N: Warning: extensive swearing ahead. /

* * *

The stasis, or paralysis, or whatever it was, wasn't really painful, aside for the bug bite. What made it painful was my panic. I was breathing very small breaths very slowly, but my heart was racing at least double it's normal pace, which meant I was using more oxygen than I was getting. I started feeling light headed, and even when I tried to tell myself to calm down it just wasn't that easy. I was sure that I'd fucked up, and that Kaidan and myself would be taken with the unfortunate colonists that weren't able to get away or hide.

It took a lot of different calming techniques I'd learned during my years in theaters and surrendering to the fact that I wasn't able to do anything in my situation, wanted or not, before my pulse started to even out and the suffocated feeling fade. All that calming myself went out of the window when a small group of collectors walked by, and I was at the edge of my consciousness when I started hearing gunfire nearby again. There was some pauses in the fire, but it kept going. Whoever it was, they weren't brought down by seeker swarms, or collectors weapons... A small hope lit up. That must have been Shepard. They must have arrived, and hopefully, they'd keep collectors busy enough for them to stop... collecting people. My face was against the ground so I couldn't see, but I was fairly sure that we were near the cannon-defense-thing.

Something explosion-like shook the ground. I was baffled at first, then remembered the huge flying collector mechs. Were they mechs? I always assumed they were, something that big couldn't have been prothean before. If I could, I would have cringed when the ground shook again. I always had had trouble fighting those things, and I always played on casual difficulty. There was a sudden, really loud noise, which shook the ground even more that flying collector tanks.

A hand was placed on my shoulder and I would have screamed if I could. I actually managed to make a little whizzing sound escape through my lips when I was turned over - by Kaidan, to my relief. I was still stiff like a copse in _rigor mortis_, but he was up and about, checking my pulse, oi! - pinching my arm. Loud booms of the defense cannons shook the colony, and the following sound must have been the collector ship leaving the atmosphere. I was relieved. Kaidan hovered above me for a couple of seconds more before he took off to the direction of the recent battle.

I felt just a little bit abandoned, my back arched in an awkward position. At least I could stare at the sky now.

After a little while the paralyzing effect started to wear off. At first I could only lay my arched back flat against the ground, lumber my limbs around and cough. After a minute more I managed to stand up, leaning my hands against my knees to steady myself. I stole a look around. I could see other people stirring, while others were still surrounded by a glowing stasis field. I slowly started walking to the direction Kaidan had gone to. I cringed a little at the tingly feeling all over me, and started a slight jog to get rid of it. It didn't take me long before I heard raised voices nearby, and I slowed my pace back to walking. I was suddenly feeling out of place. I guess Kaidan wasn't happy to see Shepard this time either... I understood his allegiance to Alliance and that seeing ghosts bust have been traumatic for him, but it broke my heart every time. It's just me, I tend to react that way to that sort of things.

I almost stopped on my tracks when I realized that Ashley must have died on Virmire. But I was almost there... Three more seconds, and the defense tower was in front of me, as were Kaidan, Shepard and two members of his crew.

It took me some time to find Shepard among them. I never played with the default characters, and most of the time, my Shepard was a female, natural redhead, her hair pulled back into a ponytail, her features pale and ...I'd describe it 'Irish-looking.' I only once played with a male Shepard, and I made him look nothing like the default male.

The Shepard standing in front of Kaidan had crossed his arms on his chest, and looked grim and angry. The default Shep male had always looked a little freaky to me. The man standing before my eyes was very like him, but something was different... Maybe it was because he was the real deal and not computer graphics that always exaggerated features to make characters more recognizable. He looked less like a game hero and more like a war beaten man.

I leaned on a crate good ten meter away from the group. Kaidan and Shepard were too drawn into their argument to notice me, but behind them Mordin's eyes scanned me over, probably stated me weird but harmless, and turned his attention to a collector's corpse. The other man had glanced at me shortly before turning back to commander. I had hard time recognizing him. I knew who he was, I was sure of that, but he wasn't Jacob. There were other human males who could join the suicide mission... but he wasn't Zaeed either. All other humans that came to my mind were women. His eyes swept the perimeter before locking onto mine.

"Josh?"

He froze in place, color draining from his face. The others noticed something was off about him and turned to look at me. The man finally managed to open his mouth to ask:

"Hay?"

Josh had time to take only two careful steps towards me before I threw myself against his chest and wrapped my arms around his neck. I still can't remember running up to him, one moment he was calling out my name, and next, I was crying aloud to his armor. He pulled me closer to him, his legs giving out, and we collapsed to the ground in a tangle of limbs. He was going through his curse library under his breath while I was trying to turn my sobs into more coherent voices.

"The fuck's happened to you?" His armored hand ran across my cheek and lifted some of my hair from my face. I must have looked like shit. I tilted my head to see his face. He looked shocked. "The hell you ended up here? The goddamn collectors could have..." Suddenly the only thing I could see was the nape of his neck when he squeezed me to his plated chest, almost cracking my ribs. "Motherfucking juice bugs."

"You know her?" Shepard was asking.

"I don't know what the hell's going on 'nymore," I managed to sob aloud. "Ah must have lost my mind." I pushed at him, struggled to get little air between us. He let me do that, but gripped at my arms. "I woke up on this dick-stained place which was a _planet_, and thought that if _you_'d ended up in space you could have ended up in the bitch-black _nothing_." Joshua shook his head vigorously.

"_That's_ Joshua?" Kaidan asked.

"This is all bull, I never thought you'd -" He turned to the salarian, who had abandoned the corpse and followed our reunion with interest. "Mordin, block everything that can collect data around here," he snapped while he stood up and pulled me up with him. "The last thing I need is Cerberus putting their noses into this." Mordin blinked, then pressed maybe five buttons on his omnitool.

"Done. Blocked all signals within five hundred meter radius, should be sufficient," he announced, glancing from Joshua to Shepard. The resurrected Spectre wasn't looking all that happy.

"Who is this, _Josh_?" There was an emphasis on his name. Josh grimaced. The ground team was looking at him, waiting for an explanation. Kaidan didn't look much happier when Joshua turned to him.

"Is there a place nearby where we won't be disturbed?"

"This way." After a long look Kaidan led to us to one of the containers. There was a large round table, two beds, leather sofa... It was somebody's home, I presumed. After we all were within the four walls and the door slid down, Kaidan worked with the lock until it turned red. Joshua led me to one of the beds and I was glad to sit down. Everyone else stood, their eyes wandering between me and Josh. His face looked tired, lines on his forehead showing signs of worry. I stared in his eyes, and he stared back into mine. I knew what I saw in front of me, but it couldn't be true, could it?

"How long have you been here?" I finally asked, my mouth dry.

He swallowed before he answered. "Five years before Eden Prime."

"Ah!" I covered my mouth and turned my eyes to his knees. Besides the small scars, there were lines on his face that weren't there yesterday. His hair was cut short now, his hairline retreated slightly back. He wasn't that tall and lean guy, who hit his head to low door frames anymore. He was even taller now, his posture erect and sharp, and I could see from his neck that he had build up a lot of muscle.

Five years before Eden Prime... He had aged seven years since I last was him.

This couldn't be right.

"I don't know what to say... We don't have that much time before we must return to the Normandy before raising suspicions, or before the authorities finally arrive." His feet were pacing around the room, before they stopped in front of Shepard's. "You must all promise me you won't talk about this outside of this room. I can't have Cerberus knowing about her."

"I'm afraid I can't promise that to you just yet," Shepard answered. His voice didn't give any apparent emotion away. "Come on, Valter, you've got to give me something here."

Valter?

"I-uh..." He started pacing again. "Well shit, here goes. Hay and me are from the year 2013, and so was Jan. Me and Jan got a chance to travel through time to help and change the future, and I don't fucking know why, but Haidee is now here, too." We all stared at him. He shrugged, helpless. "I don't know how to make you believe a thing I say."

Time travel?

"Don't fuck with me Valter. We may be able to travel between systems and planets but thus far no one has invented a time machine yet."

"In the future, they have," Josh snarled. "And they decided to travel back in time to try and stop Reapers before they are able to kill millions. Instead, they ended up in our time where NASA was the best we had, made a best-selling game series about the Reaper wars and decided to find and send two hard-core fans to the future in their place and stay in their time and live like lords." He sounded bitter when he finished. "The last part has a some speculation in it."

Shepard ran his hand over his stubble of hair. "Are you honestly expecting me to believe that?"

Mordin was tapping his finger against his chin. "Interesting allegation. Time travel known in fiction for quite a lot of time. Time dilation a common effect in space travel, everyday life as well, but for one to jump from one time to other..." He took a deep breath and slit his eyes. "Could lead to disaster."

"Shepard, we did find her files," Kaidan started slowly, glancing at me. "She and her friend went reportedly missing 200 years ago, and the resemblance is striking... But she _has_ claimed to be mad from the start..."

"Hay..." Josh groaned at me.

"What?" I snap at him. "You try waking up tomorrow in a, let's see, a Silent Hill game, and then listen when a Pyramid Head tells you that you need to live _there_ for the rest of your life..."

"You weren't supposed to come here..."

"Yet here I am!" I was shouting. "You disappeared without a note, how could you just leave us behind, how _could_ you trust someone to actually take you to future, even if you were so fucking _obsessed_-" I shook my head. "I'm sorry, I forgot, this is not real, that doesn't matter." I was crying again, which made me even more upset. "I just want to wake the fuck up."

Josh took a step towards me, but stopped when I kicked him. That hurt. Why did everything have to be painful here, even kicking your armored friend wasn't allowed to be fun? I'm sure that kick hurt him, not physically though. Knowing that didn't make me feel any better.

"Who was the other one who disappeared?" Shepard asked Kaidan.

"Joshua Ström," Josh was the one to answer, as he turned away from me. "28 years old, disappeared from his home, parents reported him missing. The next day his friend, Haidee Ek, disappears while his parents are looking for him. Neither are ever heard from since." Kaidan nodded after a short pause. Josh turned himself to me, but I refused to look at him, wiping tears to my sleeve.

"I spent seven years wondering what happened to you."

That statement made me flinch, but Josh had turned his back to me. "Jan wanted us to use aliases, and forged our backgrounds. Valter Frisk and Jan Faust were just covers." He laughed bitterly. "Jan kept his name, said it reminded him of Janus, the god with two faces. He told me afterwards that Valter means 'a commander of army...' Kept calling me Shepard before we joined forces with the legendary one." The man in question looked quite confused. Kaidan was looking at each of us in turn. Mordin was in his thoughts, tapping at his lip.

"We were promised the possibility to change the future for the good, to fight with the heroes. We knew everything that was going to happen, and we had years to come up with plans to save those that couldn't have been saved before. But every time we changed things for the better, something else came to bite us in the arse..."

I was afraid to ask, but I had to. "How did Ash die?" My question caused Kaidan to suck in a breath, and Shepard to shake his head a little.

"Did you know, you can save everyone on Virmire?" I could hear a smile in Josh's voice. "It was a tough spot, not knowing for sure where Saren would show up. But we did it. We couldn't save Kirrahe and some of his men, but it was good." Josh had raised his hand to his face, but dropped it to his side. I knew that if he hadn't had his armor gloves on, he would have bitten at his thumb. "The Mako took some bad hits on Ilos, and when we crashed to Citadel, Jan and Ash got crushed."

I was looking at Shepard, trying to read his face. Had he had something with Ashley? It had always been a possibility in the game. If he had, that conversation didn't trigger anything on his face. I was about to ask about Jan when Josh spoke again.

"Shepard, I'm not asking you to believe anything you've heard here today, but... I can see three or four options, but I only tell you two. The first one is to lock me up somewhere for being insane and delusional. The second one is what I ask you to do." Shepard crosses his arms on his chest and purses his lips slightly.

"Time travel is possible, and though technology for it does not exist in this time, there are now two people who have traveled through time. You can probably see all the possible things you could change just by going back in time and tweaking minor events. But no one can know about this, especially Cerberus." Josh was looking at Kaidan at the moment. "Right now, we need Cerberus, because no one else is prepared to take on the collectors. But once the threat is over, they can't be trusted a shit. If Tim gets the power to turn time, we'll be facing a new Space Hitler, without a chance to fight back." He turned back to Shepard.

"Who's Tim?" I asked.

"The Illusive Man," Josh answered over his shoulder. Well, that explained a few things. I had always wondered if TIM was someone from ME3... But it was an abbreviation. I should have known.

"I'm asking, that you trust me, take me back with you, and act like nothing weird happened here. There is much more to tell and explain, and I will, once we get off the leash. And I need to ask you this... Haidee must be hidden. She doesn't know a fuck's worth about what's going on, but if Cerberus finds her out, they wouldn't believe that." Josh glanced at me, and I felt my insides drop.

Shepard was quiet. He had been really quiet almost all this time we had spent on Horizon. Now he seemed to battle an internal conflict with himself. He walked up to Josh, searched his face for deception, for signs of quilt.

"You and Jan came to me on your own will, fought with me against monsters, put yourselves in line to save others, and paid a high price. When I came back from the dead, you found me again and asked to come aboard to fight on a mission which is propably going to get us all killed. Half an hour ago I took you with me because you were one I knew I could trust."

Shepard didn't even blink when he stared into Joshuas eyes.

"I am going trust you until we get a change and you tell us everything. Are you worth that trust, Joshua?"

Josh nodded, to which Shepard nodded back and muttered "Good." Then he threw his hand back and landed a powerful punch to Josh's jaw, which caused him to fall to the floor.

When Josh shook his head and struggled to get up, Shepard held out his hand for him to take.

"That's for lying to me," he said in a casual tone.

Josh chuckled little when Shepard pulled him up.

"If you wanted to hurt me, you should have asked Haidee to punch me. She might have actually done some damage," he mused while he rubbed at his jawline.

Shepard turned to me, checked me from head to toe.

"Mordin, we can't get her past EDI, can we?"

"Afraid not. Possible to disturb her sensors for a while, but would raise suspicion in the long run. No places to hide on the ship," Mordin affirmed. Shepard studied me a bit more before turning to his former crew member. "LT, can you take her somewhere safe?"

Kaidan considered the situation for a second, peering at Josh. From the way he had fought with Shepard earlier, I wouldn't have wondered if he had refused. To my surprise he nodded at Josh and said aloud: "I'll see what I can do."

I gawked at Josh. "You're gonna leave me behind?" His eyes wandered the room, not meeting mine.

"For now. Don't have much choice. You're useless."

That hurt. Even from him, that _stung_. "I'm not! You're the one who can't even keep his goddamn job!"

"I've been fighting aliens and monster for the past years. You would have died if you were in my position."

"Fuck you!"

"Every time I think of you."

"_Valter_," Shepard interrupted us loudly, and Josh immediately shut his pie hole. "...and Mordin, get ready. I've had enough of this place." He turned to Kaidan to say "I'll be in touch... Once I've got this _thing_ settled." He threw one last look at me, before marching to the lock and out of the container after unlocking it. Mordin followed suit behind him, but Josh lingered for a small moment.

"Don't go," I broke the silence. For the shortest moment, when I had thrown myself into his arms, I had felt safe. But he just shook his head.

"I have to," he said. "I'm one of the suiciders now. Gotta save the galaxy and all that." He turned on his heels and walked out before I managed to gather my words to another sentence.

Kaidan might have been in the room with me, but I had never felt that lonely in my life.

* * *

Author's Note:

That was a lot of swearing. Let me know if you think I should rate this M instead of T. (I had fun researching colorful swears. Took a lot of time... In the end I didn't feel like using them that much.)

Decisions, decisions. Between school and work I have limited free time. Should I do my artsy things for these upcoming conventions? Should I clean up this pit I'm living in? Should I play my MEs? Should I read Masses to Masses 2? Should I work on my own fic? Life, thou art a... serious pain... something like that. (Especially when one of my co-workers is sick, the other just had a surgery and third one has her joints popping out of place... Extra shifts for me. Sigh.)

If you remember me complaining how my Xbox didn't work, it was because the cable was loose on 'box's end. Embarrassing. Glad I noticed it myself. The only down side now is that my current tv is OLD and teeny weeny, and it's hard to shoot at enemies when you can hardly see the red indicators. Oh, and remember that red planet filled with geth, I think it was called Maji? One of the four planets to clear? It was impossible to find a damn thing, I ended up driving in circles around objects! Infuriating! My next salary comes I'm buying that 40" 3D-ready monster.

Scratch that. I finished ME1 (Bringing down the sky wa e) and moved on to second game. Now I have to sit on the floor right in front of the tv to be able to read the texts. The screen's like, size of an A4 sheet!

Somehow I always rant about my life here, but I'm afraid you have to deal with it. Now, to talk about my work of fiction... This story won't be following the main story line of Mass Effect 2, since Haidee would have no purpose aboard the Normandy SR2. She will try to find another ways to help, from the side lines, instead. I hope you'll find this more interesting than just rewriting the original story line, and just wondering 'who she's going to end up with, ooh, I'm betting Kaidan because that's the first main chara she ran into...' Haha, maybe I'll hook her up with Altun? (...Elcor male and human female? OUCH. Didn't need THAT mental image. Bad brain.) (...what I wouldn't give to have some copies of Fornax to investigate inter-species couples. I'm naturally curious about everything, sue me. That's why I'm an artist.)

Vau, sorry it took this long to update. To my defenses, this chapter is almost twice as long as my previous chapters. And I've been researching a lot *coughplayingcough* to get things accurate...


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 - Fishbowl**

Stupid brain. For a little while I had felt calm in my hallucination, and then my brain decided no, let's take her only lifeline away, much better when she runs around like a headless chicken.

Kaidan ran his fingers through his hair, I thought he tried to decide what to do with me.

"Can I just stay here?" I asked. I really didn't want to go anywhere else. I was exhausted and famished, I just wanted to lay down on the bed I was sitting on, fall asleep and never wake up. Not if it meant waking up in this place.

Kaidan looked unsure first, but hid it quickly. "No, I'll get you back to your holding cell before I figure something else out... Come on, let's get moving."

I got up slowly and followed him to the door. Outside the survivors either walked around aimlessly or ran shouting names, trying to find their friends and loved ones. I tried my best to avoid colliding with them, but my vision started to become distorted. In a minute I was bumping shoulders to anyone who got too close: after two, I started to trip over without any visible reason.

After I walked straight into a wall I finally gasped at Kaidan: "I can't. I just can't keep on going." It was hard not to cry. My trademark was to whine about mediocre things, never about things I really should whine about. Like when I was afraid I'd fail my school... or when I was thrown through time and the works.

I think it had something to do with pride, too, but mostly I was afraid others would shy away if I showed my need of help.

Kaidan stopped to look back at me, then at the mess around us. He spotted a young man running past us, and quickly grabbed his arm before he was out of his reach. "Adam. Adam!"

The young man had an alarmed look on his face. "Have you seen mother?" He asked. His voice was higher than I had expected, and when I focused on his face he appeared to be younger than me. Huh. I leaned on the wall when I swayed on my feet. Half the colony should be gone... The odds weren't on the mother's favour.

"No, listen..." After he was sure Adam wouldn't run on his way Kaidan let go of his arm. "I need to go and organize whatever defenses we have left, and search parties... But I need to get this girl somewhere safe. Take her with you to your place, make sure she gets something to eat, and that she has what she needs..." The boy's face fell, and he was about to argue. "...Then come to the docking bay, and someone will tell you where to go and what to do."

Adam thought on that a moment, before nodding. "I can do that."

Kaidan turned to me, looking little awkward. "I'll come find you later, when I get things running in order," he said apologize in his voice. I gave him a tired nod, and with a quick "I'll see you soon" to Adam he started to jog away.

"Come on," the boy hurried me, to which I shook him my head. I reached out my arm and gestured him closer. If I left that wall without help I'd be on the ground before I could blink.

Adam was quick to come to my side and lift my arm around his shoulders. Thankfully he wasn't too tall for it to be too difficult. He was walking slightly faster than I was comfortable with, but I wasn't in position to complain. The faster he got rid of me he got to go look for his loved ones.

The walk felt like an eternity, but suddenly we stopped in front of a door, which simply slid open when Adam waved his hand at it. It was one habitable container among the others, but this one's interior had something in it that the previous one had lacked. Adam walked me to a sofa, and I let out a grateful sigh when I sat down.

"The beds are upstairs, but you can sleep on that sofa if you're too tired to take the stairs," Adam said as he walked behind a wall that was dividing the place. I heard some clatter, and behold, I believe I shed a tear when he returned with something that resembled a jam jar. "Here's some kissel you can eat, and you can help yourself anything else that's in the fridge. The bathroom's upstairs if you want to clean up, and, uh..." He frowned and scratched his short, black hair. "I guess I could get you some clothes from ma, she wouldn't mind..."

I lifted my hand to make him stop his rambling. "You don't need to do any such a thing, just go already. You must be worried sick, I'll be fine here."

He rocked on his heels, trying to make his mind. "You sure?" I nodded, to which he answered with a strained smile. He quickly handed me the jar, and dashed out of the door.

I stared at the jar thing intently, before working my way to open it. Adam hadn't given me a spoon, not that I would have bothered with one. I tilted my head back and drank straight from the jar. The kissel was thicker than what I was used to, but dear mammoths, it was delicious. I used my finger to get the rest of the kissel that had stuck in the jar.

When I was finished I carefully placed the jar thing on the floor and laid myself down on the sofa. It took some time to push the whirling thoughts aside, but once I managed at that I silently cried myself to sleep.

ooOoo

I had to pee. I tried to roll off my bed, but bumped against the back of the couch. Wait... I had no leather couch. Where was I?

I opened my eyes when I more or less graciously rolled to the floor. Oh. This place. It never ceased to amaze me how sharp my senses were compared to the fact I was delusional.

Gotta pee. That boy had said that bathroom was upstairs, right? I stood and half ran to the end of the room, where a door led to a small balcony and most importantly, to the stairs. The muscles of my thighs ached, but my feet and head felt fine.

That boy, Adam, was sitting on a bed, something computer-like on his lap. His bright eyes dimmed a little when he saw who was coming up the stairs.

"Bathroom?" I squeaked in a hurry.

"That door over there," he pointed. I ran past him, the door opening when I placed my hand against the green holoface. It was weird, but I had no time to stand and wonder. Door closed behind me, and I didn't bother locking it. I wouldn't have known how, anyway.

I flinched when I finally saw my reflection in the mirror. I looked like I had just survived a zombie attack. The visible wounds were already healing, thanks to the now dried medigel, but there was dried blood and dirt all over me. If I ever saw bruises like that on anybody else's face I'd have thought their partner beat them.

I didn't have more time to study my face, I still had to make sure that the object on the other side of the small room was indeed a toilet seat.

Afterwards I studied the lock system. I actually touched something when I pushed my hand forwards, but what, I wasn't sure... A small mass effect field? A lot of stuff in the future used eezo in them, right? It was... creepy, I guess. What was it that I touched? Some sort of radiation? Vibrations? Were they the same thing? I hadn't paid much attention at physics.

It was simple, really. Door opened when I touched the panel, and closed when I stepped back. There was some sort of handle on the holo's surface, and when I turned it the door locked. (Adam looked more confused every time I reopened the door. I would have tried some more things but, you know, being a guest in their house and all...)

It was somewhat awkward. I'm not sure why. "You found your momma?"

He shook his head, face showing no emotion I could read. "No. They cut down the search team, now that communications work and they can trace their 'tools..." He looked away, angry and ashamed. "Kaidan told me to come back here and keep an eye on you. There's some clothes you can change into, but, uh..." Suddenly he was having difficulties finding any words. "There's not any underwear, but, if you need, any, I could get mother's, though I think her breasts are more- not that yours are small or-"

"Nonononono, I can manage, thank you." It was becoming a habit cutting him short. "Don't mind me saying, but you don't look like the type who just sits back and does what he's told."

Adam looked relieved to talk about something else than going through his mother's drawers. "I wouldn't, but I own Kaidan my life. All he's gotta say is I own him, and it's not a debt I can pay back. Ever." He saw how my eyebrows had shot towards my hairline. "You haven't seen any Horizon's wildlife yet, have you? Broke accidentally a herzer's nest, Kaidan trapped them all in a biotic field until they calmed down enough to not tear me to shreds."

...

He gave a little sigh. "They're like a mixture of a cat, lizard and a platypus. Cute as hell, and they calm down fairly quickly, but when they're mad..." He didn't shudder, but his voice lowered with each word. "Yeah, maybe not a lizard, but a piranha..."

I wasn't sure if he was pulling my leg. "Still, you just sit here?"

He glared at me. "You're not helping."

Yeah, mouth filter would be nice. I picked up the clothes and the towel underneath them, breaking eye contact. "Thanks for these."

"You're welcome," he said and returned to his computer -thing.

After fleeing back to the bathroom I peeled off my suffered clothes, and used ten minutes to figure out the shower system. (I thought they had had it hard in Canada - this was much worse.) Finally I managed to get some water come from where I wanted it to, though it was ice cold and made me gasp in surprise. Only three swearful seconds later the water was pleasantly hot and I let it run down my skin, just standing there, feeling the warmth. I took off my bandages and washed the dried medigel off. Only one particularly worn gash was partially open, but even that didn't bleed. Just the tiny scratches that had not received medigel treatment stung when water swept over them.

I closed my eyes and listened to the water swooshing around me. I pretended I was back home. I concentrated on the music of water droplets and to the feeling of steam I breathed into my lungs. I closed everything else out, the light that filtered through my eyelids felt just a little brighter, my limbs lighter.

Unfortunately I couldn't stay there forever. I opened my eyes and carefully shut off the water. The steam had fogged up the mirror which I was glad about. I didn't want to see my bruised face. I dug my underwear from the pile that I had left to the floor, and took a look at the clothes I had been provided. They were just a little bit too small for me, but in my current situation I was happy to have anything I had been given. Even when the long sleeved and hemmed shirt and slim fitting trousers were something I would have refused to wear few days ago. I fought the urge to glance at the mirror, gave my hair one last round with a towel, and walked out of the bathroom.

Adam was no longer on the bed, or in the room, for that matter. For a couple of seconds I considered staying up there, I really don't enjoy talking to strangers. I shook the thought from my head and made my way downstairs. Maybe Adam had gone somewhere else?

I didn't know if I should have felt relieved when I found Adam talking with Kaidan. Both of them looked at me, Adam shrugged, passed me and disappeared to the stairs.

"Hey," Kaidan greeted me.

It was weird. Me and Kaidan, we were strangers, but somehow I knew so much about him already. I knew about his parents, his past, how he thought, how he looked underneath his clothes... I made a mental note to try to avoid those memories. I knew things about him he would propably never tell me on his terms. He was leaning to a wall near the fridge. To him I must have been a huge question mark. I couldn't have blamed him if he had locked me up again.

"Any sign of his mother yet?" I asked, pointing a finger upstairs.

He shook his head so slightly I wasn't sure he had shaken it at all. "No. We found some colonists from an abandoned herzer's nest north from here, but she wasn't there. Lilith and so many others..." He stared out of the window with an angry frown. "They tried to warn us, and we... I didn't listen. And now they are gone." He turned his eyes to me, and I could practically feel a question mark rotating above my head. "You know what those things were, don't you?"

I nodded nervously, and made my way to sit on the sofa. The trousers I was wearing were tight, and I shifted around trying to find a comfortable position. I ended up almost laying on my back, my legs stretched out and my ankles crossed. Josh would have been so much better at explaining these things.

"They are called Collectors," I started, and with a gesture of my hand invited him to take a seat on the other end of the sofa. We had a lot to talk about, and if not Collectors, I was sure he would soon find another topic. "And they work for the Reapers. They are what is left of the Prothean race." There was a picture of Adam and a woman, standing by the window. Her hair had been cut just above her shoulders. Adam had a huge sandwich in his mouth: she was laughing.

While I was staring at the picture, Kaidan sat down and leaned his arms on his thighs, waiting for me to continue. "Why are they taking people? Why humans?"

I didn't want to tell him. "Why humans, I don't remember exactly..." I rubbed my temples. "I think Reapers were impressed, when humans - when Shepard delayed them two years ago, and destroyed Sovereign." That was the gist of it, as far as I knew.

Kaidan rubbed his hands together, and I was staring at the woman in the picture. I had seen her, on my screen what felt like ages ago. "Yeah, I get that, but, why are they going through all the trouble kidnapping all these people, when they could just simply kill us?"

"Collectors have a base, in the center of the galaxy, in the middle of the exploding suns or something. They take the people there, keep them in these pods..." Kaidan's face lit up little, and I felt sick giving him hope for a second to just take it away the next. I hurriedly continued. "They are building a human shaped Reaper, and they are using humans for it. Not as a man power. They, I don't know, they turn humans into liquid, and use it in building..." I let my voice fade away when Kaidan stood up and started pacing the room.

"You're sure?"

I took the holoframe of Adam and his mother into my hands. I turned it around so Kaidan could see. "You said her name was Lilith?"

He nodded, lost at the way I was leading the conversation.

"I've seen her. When Shepard infiltrates the Collector base, there is a chance that he watches Lilith melt away. That, or she is already dead, and he watches as his yeoman faces the same fate."

He looked like someone had just slapped him across his face. He lifted his hand to stroke his lower lip and continued his pacing. After three more strides he spun around. "You said chance, what do you mean, there's a chance?"

I sqeezed my eyes shut and rubbed my face with both hands. "Shepard has to tie up loose ends, or his team won't be at their best, and they'll die while invading the place... But if he takes too long after Collectors take everyone but Joker from the Normandy, the only survivor from the crew will be Dr. Chakwas. There are so many ifs, he has to upgrade the ship and have right people do the right things..."

Kaidan was shaking his head angry. "What is that, he _maybe_ dies, he _maybe_ saves some people - I thought you and Valter knew what was going to happen?"

"I don't fucking know!" I exploded. "This is all just a fucking video game for me! You either play good, you play dirty, or you play bad and _ding!_ Game over!"

"This is not a game for me!" He was mad now, we both were. "You say that he won't be able to save her, that I won't be able to save these people, but _you_ know where to find them-"

"You weren't there! You wouldn't listen to him and and let him explain, you just-" I stopped there, lifted my fingers to my lips to silence myself. The silence was deafening after our argument. He was breathing heavy, waiting for me to continue. I was just idling.

"I see no point in this," I said quietly. He sat back down confused while I stared through him. "You ever heard of brain in a fishbowl, that philosophy thing?"

"Can't say I have."

"It's an idea that you are just brains floating in a bowl, while a scientist gives them electric pulses, to make them think that they are feeling things, thinking, living... But it's all just a lie." I let my posture collapse. "Why should I bother with this when none of this ain't real?"

Kaidan leaned forward, still winded up, but I think he was worried about me. "Haidee, this is as real as it gets. I get it - I can't even imagine how surreal this is to you, hell, this sure is for me, but if you know things, if you can help us against the Collectors, we need all the help we can get."

He really didn't get it.

"How am I supposed to wake up if I accept all this? If I don't fight this, I just might end up stuck in here until the scientist becomes bored and flushes me down the toilet."

Kaidan gently fished my hands and covered them with both of his.

"I can feel your hands in mine, flesh and blood. I can feel you sitting here, next to me." He was trying to make eye contact, but I kept staring through him. "This won't get any more real than this. Close your eyes."

So I did. We were still like statues. I let my mind focus on the feelinf of the fabric covering my body, the silent sounds echoing through the apartment's walls, the scents filling my lungs I couldn't recognize. His hands were warming mine, and I could sense the rest of him not far away of me.

When tears ran through my eyelids he whispered "I'm so sorry."

"When we get to watch millions of people get slaughtered, you too will be wishing this was just an illusion."

I hate my work. Well, actually, I hate this one guy at my work. And I hate most of my studies. I hate my life, it's been too hectic. The little I've written was written on slow nights at work, or on slow classes at school using my mobile.

I have only so few systems left to scan, after them I can finally head through Omega 4 relay... and move on to ME3!

Haydee was so whiny in this chapter I first considered making a little time jump to skip it all... But decided to write it anyway. Bear with me, it should be all interesting from now on.

How dare I. This is all interesting and important. I'm planting motives here!

Again, sorry it's taken me this long to write. I drew and painted day and night to get prints ready for a convention, was at the convention, was exhausted after the convention, someone died, and so on... That's life, eh?

I'm struggling with my life, and mostly with my school. Right now I think I might be able to update every two weeks. I can't promise anything, everything's so messed up.

To not leave a bitter aftertaste, I have my a huge new tv, and Kaidan wants to be my friend again... lucky nurses. I'm pretty sure the only reason he has no shirt at the hospital is because of some horny nurses.


End file.
